He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
