hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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