Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
