This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So much rum. So many feels.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
