Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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