So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.