did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
