seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
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Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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