I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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