Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'd cum for enchiladas.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
