Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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