AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
