i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
