The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
