Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize