Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
