I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
