he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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