Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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