We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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