I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
