I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
