I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I could fuck to npr.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
