the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
