I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
