I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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