Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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