hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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