How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
