My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
