How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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