You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
