we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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