Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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