Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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