Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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