After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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