would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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