I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
