What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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