My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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