My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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