I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Girls should come with a carfax report
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
