Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
