he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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