Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
