I accidentally had phone sex last night
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
