I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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