How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
