I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
