fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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