thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
