So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
