I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
