before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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