If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
