Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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