the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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