She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
