I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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