I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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