I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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